This post is an expansion on an entry in my journal, written in a low season of my life following a soul-crushing miscarriage. May it be a word of courage and encouragement for those who need it.
Went for a walk.
Looked for God at a waterfall.
Heard Him in the damp, ancient forest
of trees with half-stretched
broken branches, covered in
I walked until I felt compelled to stop in front of one old tree in particular. And heard,
"This is you, Kadee."
I notice the tree's branches,
their frenetic, top-to-bottom reaching out.
There is no fruit. It provides no shade.
What good is there in a tree like this?
"It stands," I hear.
"Just stand, Kadee."
But is it good enough just to stand?
"You are good enough. Just stand."
Psalm 1 has a line that I returned to often after my father died:
[S]he shall be like a tree planted by streams of water,
that bears its fruit in season.
Maybe this isn't a season to bear fruit.
Maybe it is enough just to stand.
If God says it's true, it must be so.
A blessing for you, and for me:
If you can run, may you run with strength and speed.
If you can walk, may you walk with dignity and purpose.
If you can stand, may you stand in confident trust that it is enough.
And if you can only crawl, sit, or lie down,
May you, in so doing, partake in the Divine dignity of weakness.
And though we long with you for the gift of strength,
I rise up even now and call you blessed.