O is for Olympics (A Brief Guide on Who to Cheer For When Feeling Conflicted)

KADEE'S HANDY-DANDY GUIDE TO FIGURE OUT WHO TO CHEER FOR AT EACH EVENT IN 
THE OLYMPIC GAMES  (WITH SPECIAL LOVE TO MY FELLOW EXPATS/IMMIGRANTS)

1) Is your country of citizenship in this event?  If yes, go to number 2.  If no, go to number 3.  If you have more than one country of citizenship, go to number 9.

2) Is your primary sense of loyalty/attachment to your country of citizenship? If yes, go to number 4.  If no, go to number 3.

3)  Is your country of residence in the race?  If yes, go to number 5.  If no, go to number 6.

4)  Yay, you get to cheer for this country!

5)  Is your primary sense of loyalty/attachment to your country of residence?  If yes, go to number 7.  If no, go to number 6.

6) Do you have ethnic or family heritage represented in one of the competitors, or a strong attachment to one of the competitors based on having lived/traveled there that supersedes your sense of shared heritage?  If yes, go to number 8.  If no, or if there are several countries competing that are part of your heritage, go to number 9.

7) Yay, you get to cheer for this country!

8)  Yay, you get to cheer for this country!

9)  Is there one particularly inspirational and/or good-looking individual/team that stands out of these choices?  If yes, go to number 10.  If not, go to number 11.

10)  Yay, you get to cheer for this country!

11)  Cheer for the underdog.  Especially if said underdog is from North Korea, Saudi Arabia, Syria, or any other country that seems hell-bent on making life difficult for a large number of its citizens.  That is what we call the Olympic spirit.

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Did I miss anything?  Happy Olympic-ing everyone!

P.S.  Yes, I know, I SKIPPED the next-in-line "N" post in order to write about the Olympics while they are happening.  Bad me!  But I promise to get back to N soon, and it will be AMAZING.  Or something.